Going Through the Motions
by MydnytAngel
Summary: after Katherine leaves Damon's room. now what happens? ch2 up. sorry it took me so long :
1. Chapter 1

The house was dark and quite, a heavy tension in the air once Katherine was gone. Elena sat at the foot of Damon's bed, watching the shower door nervously. They hadn't talked about what Katherine had said, but she knew that they were going to. It couldn't be avoided. She just had no idea what she was going to say. Did she love Damon? In some way she did, but she didn't think it was in the same way she loved Stefan. And poor Stefan. Who knows what Klaus had done to him in order to save his brother. She jumped as the bedroom door opened, revealing him freshly showered and dressed, the notice of death gone from his features as she handed him the mug of blood she had warmed up for him. "You look better," she said folding her arms.

"Thank you," he said, drowning the crimson contents. He was watching her with a guarded expression, unable to figure out how she was feeling and how to respond to it. She didn't want to talk about what was going on with them, it was too confusing for her. She cared about him, more than she let on, but that didn't mean she wanted to confront her feelings right now. "Elena…" But he was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone.

She dug her phone out of her pocket hastily, more than grateful for the interrupting but she frowned when she saw Rick's name. "Hello?"

"Elena," Rick said, softly. "I know you're with Damon, but you need to come to the hospital. It's Jeremy."

"Is he okay?" she asked, her eyes meeting Damon's as they left his room, already heading down the stairs. She was amazed at how easily he knew she needed, and he would follow her every step of the way.

"Just hurry."

"I'll drive," Damon said, as she hung up. The trip over to the hospital was fast, as Damon broke every speed limit, trying to ignore her clutched hand in his. She had every right to be worried. She had enough to deal with right now. He parked in front of the emergency room, and she hopped out before it even came to a stop. In the waiting room she was surprised to find most of the little gang all present, with grief stricken faces.

"Damon," Caroline said in surprise. "You're okay."

"Where's Jeremy?" Elena asked, not wanting to explain Damon's situation right now. Her priority was her brother. "What happened?"

"I'm so sorry Elena," Liz said, tearfully.

Elena glanced up at Damon then back at the sheriff. "Where is he?" she demanded, as fear settled in the pit of her stomach. She didn't like the way everyone was looking at her, full of pity and sorrow.

"Elena," Caroline said approaching the tearful girl. "He got shot. And… we tried to save him, but it was too late. We did everything we could"

Elena's eyes widened and she almost felt sick as her vision blurred. Her stomach churned as her throat tightened. "No no no," she said moving away from them, a tear sliding down her cheek as Damon gently grabbed her hand. "Don't touch me." She tried to push him away as her body started trembling with sobs.

Very easily, Damon's strong arms closed over her body, hugging her to his chest as he rocked her gently. She had just buried her aunt and her father. Her boyfriend had now disappeared, and now, her brother was dead. As her knees buckled, he carefully scooped her up, settling into a chair with her in his lap and he nuzzled her temple, trying to offer any bit of comfort. Her hands were curling against him, as she tried to get closer to him and he wanted to shield her from all this. It wasn't fair.

"It's Damon's fault," Bonnie said angrily. "Damon moved and Jeremy got hit instead."

Elena's head shot up to stare at her friend then at Damon in horror. "You… knew?" she whispered, almost ready to bolt from his arms. There was no way he wouldn't tell her, no matter what state of mind he was in. He wouldn't keep it from her, she just knew it.

Damon shook his head as his hold tightened on her. "I don't know what happened to Jeremy," he said. "I was with him in the Grill… but I was just looking for you. That's all I remember."

Elena sniffled and wiped her cheeks. "You were sick," she mumbled, putting her head back on his shoulder. "It's not your fault." Damon had needed her. That's what his instincts were based on, getting to her and protecting her. He hadn't been able to do anything else. "I'm so tired Damon." She wanted to sleep and never wake up. She was going to have to bury her last family member and that thought made her cringe with agony.

"I know sweetheart," he whispered in her ear. "Let me… take care of some stuff and we'll go home." Where the hell was that? Why would she go back to house, that she had grown up in with her parents and Jeremy, and Jenna, who were all dead?

"I don't have one of those anymore," she said, getting off his lap. She folded her arms as he kissed the top of her head. "Hurry." She wanted to leave. Right this minute. She couldn't handle another funeral.

Damon left her reluctantly but Caroline immediately wrapped her arms around her. "Where's Stefan?" she asked softly.

Elena nearly burst into tears again at the thought of her missing boyfriend. "He gave himself up to save Damon," she whimpered against Caroline's shoulder, as tears slid out of her eyes. "He's all I have left." And he was. Everyone else had their own life. But she didn't know what was going to happen.

"It'll be okay," Caroline said rubbing her back.

Elena shook her head. "It hurts. It'll never be okay again," she whispered, as her arms tightened around Caroline's waist. "I hate it."

Ric followed Damon as he headed to the front desk. "What happened?" he asked. "You look.. Much better then you did before I got knocked out."

Damon rubbed his face tiredly. "Stefan gave himself over to Klaus to save me," he said sadly. "He's gone." As much as he hated his brother for so many things, he felt like the last few months had been different. They had put their differences aside to keep Elena safe, and they had started to repair the damage that had been caused. He appreciated what Stefan had done, but now what? Elena was going to hate him for Stefan being gone, and for Jeremy. He had left her brother unprotected. He had failed. Like always.

"Jesus," Ric said. "I can't imagine what Elena's going through." He rested a hand on Damon's shoulder. "At least you're okay."

Okay? Was this the definition of being okay? "Yeah," Damon snorted. "Managed to kill Elena's brother and my own all in one night. That's the way you win the woman you love." He wasn't even sure if he was going to do that to begin with. He had made a choice months ago to strictly be her friend, so that he could stay in her life. She wanted to be with Stefan, and if he wanted to be in her life, he had to accept that. And he did.

"You know she's not going to blame you for this," Ric said. "You were sick. You had no idea what was going on."

"She might not blame me today," Damon said. "But eventually she will. But I'm still going after Stefan." And kick his ass into the next century. All he wanted was for Stefan to not tell Elena. He had accepted that he was going to die. He was ready. And having Elena with him in the end had made it all worth it. He never counted on a cure. Never counted on losing his brother for that cure.

"What?" Came Elena's startled whisper from behind them. "No you aren't."

Damon sighed. "Elena…" He was really off his game if he couldn't sense her near him. He could already see the fight starting up on her face, and he didn't have the energy to do this now. He just wanted to sleep.

"Haven't I lost enough already?" she asked, tears stinging the corner of her eyes. "You're not going."

"Wouldn't you rather Stefan be here with you for this?" Damon countered, trying to find the logic in the girls brain. He couldn't just sit back and do nothing.

Rather than confront the feelings he knew she had conflicting in her, she just repeated her statement. "You're not going," she said, firmly as she crossed her arms. She had that stubborn pose, the one that she always had when people, mainly him, tried to defy her. He just wasn't sure that even Elena could convince him to stay here.

"Why don't you guys just go home?" Alaric said. "I'll make sure the arrangements go through you. It's.. been a long night and you don't need go through this now."

Damon glanced at Elena and she nodded. "Okay," he said in defeat. "Thanks Ric." Elena walked next to him like it was the most natural thing as they headed back out to his car. "Where to?" he asked sliding behind the driver seat. He could barely look at her, unsure of what he would find directed at him, but she didn't object to leaving with him, so that was a good sign.

"The boarding house," she whispered, leaning her head against the window as tears leaked out of her eyes, leaving trails down her beautiful face. His fingers itched to wipe them away, to ease her pain, but how could he when his own pain was causing such a nightmare within him?

He drove home more slowly, not eager to get back to his house, and Elena didn't seem to mind. No words were spoken the entire trip and she immediately went upstairs when they returned home. Damon watched her sadly as he leaned against the door in exhaustion. He pinched the bridge of his nose and headed to the couch, plopping in front of the fire, resting his head in his hands. He should get drunk, really drunk. It would take a lot of alcohol to dull this. He stared at his hands in wonder as tears dripped off his jaw onto them. If his mother was alive she'd kill him for not protecting his baby brother. He never cried, ever.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, but Elena eventually came downstairs, still silent as the dead. When she came to stand in front of him, he barely raised his head as she nudged between his knees and settled in his lap, cradling him against her. It took him a moment to realize she was trying to offer him some comfort, and he hugged her to him tightly as he buried his head in her shoulder. "I'm so sorry Elena," he whispered, not knowing what else he could possibly say right now.

"Don't be," she whispered with a sniffle and his brows creased in confusion. "This isn't you're fault."

"But it is," Damon said angrily causing her to jump a little. "I was ready to die. I had lived a long life, done everything I wanted to do. Stefan didn't have to do this. And I left your brother unprotected, knowing he was the most important person to you and he got killed. That bullet wouldn't have killed me. I would have been fine."

Elena kissed his temple. "If its anyone's fault, it's mine," she said. "You were just keeping Caroline and Tyler safe, knowing it was important to me. You got bit protecting me. Everyone's gotten hurt or killed because of me. Stefan knew what would happen if he went after Klaus. And Jeremy was an accident. You were sick, and you just wanted me. You couldn't help yourself."

"You should hate me," he said sadly. "For so many things. And you probably still would if I hadn't been at death's door."

"I probably would have been mad at you, yes, but I could never hate you Damon, ever," she said. "And I may not have said those things if you weren't dying, but I still meant them. I just… don't know what that means." She pulled back slightly. "Let's get some sleep."

That meant discussion over, and truthfully, that was okay with him. He didn't want to have this talk either, not right now. He dropped his arms from around and stared at her as she rose to her feet, and she offered her hand to his. "Elena…" Even though his brain was telling him this was a bad idea, his hand was still sliding into hers. She led him upstairs silently to his room, and he was surprised to find clean sheets on his bed, ones that didn't wreak of death or of Katherine. "You don't have to stay you know. I'm all better."

"I know," she said, shrugging. "Just don't think either of us needs to be alone tonight. We're just going to sleep."

Damon sighed. "Elena, this isn't comfort for me," he whispered. "I can't… just be your friend and give you what you need right now." There was no way he'd be able to have her in his bed, just sleeping next to him innocently. He'd fuck that up in half a second.

"Maybe I need the same thing," she said, tilting her head in the most adorable way as she stared at him.

He almost snorted at the absurdity of that comment. "I highly doubt that," he muttered. "I'm going to bring Stefan home, whether you like it or not. So its best not to cross any lines and do things we're going to regret when that time comes."

"Awww," came a voice from behind Damon, once again startling him. "You two are cute."

Damon moved his body more in front of Elena as he turned to face Klaus. "Where's my brother?" He demanded. He was no match for Klaus right now. If the… hybrid wanted to kill him or Elena, he could do so without blinking an eye right now and Damon was helpless as a kitten.

"Don't worry about him," Klaus said. "He's fine. I see Katerina did as she was told."

"So how about you let Stefan come home and I'll go with you now that I'm all better," Damon said.

"No!" Elena cried out from behind him and he almost rolled his eyes. Why did she have to complicate everything he tried to do?

"There is no room for negotiations," Klaus said in amusement. "I had a feeling you wouldn't listen to reason, so I came to warn you. If you come after him, I'll kill your girlfriend, for real this time. So think about that before you start tracking the massacres."

Damon growled softly once they were alone and glared at her. "What in the world are you doing?" he asked, folding his arms. "Why do you have to fight me on everything?"

Her eyes widened in shock. "Damon I just…"

"You just what?" he flared angrily as he paced around the room, dragging his hands through his hair in agitation. "I could have gotten Stefan back and you put a stop right to that."

"You were asking for a trade," she said shaking her head. "I couldn't let you do that. I almost lost you Damon. There was no way I was going to let you give yourself up like that."

"And why is that?" he growled, stalking closer to her. "What kind of game are you playing?"

Elena shoved him roughly, putting some distance between them. "Because I care about you," she said, furiously. "And I have been trying to show you how much. You think this is easy for me Damon? You know how terrified I am of falling in love with you? And you almost died. So forgive me if I don't want to watch someone else die for me." She turned on her heel and wiped her tears as she headed to the door, jumping when he blocked her path.

His eyes were a lot softer, the anger gone from his face. "You didn't even let me try to talk to him to get Stefan back," he said softly. "Klaus could be doing anything to him. You don't even know if you'll ever see him again Elena."

"I know," she whispered, folding her arms as Damon went to collapse on his bed. "I knew the consequences when he said goodbye. He's trying to protect us, both of us. He wouldn't want us to ruin that Damon." Slowly , she joined him, just leaning against the headboard, her knees pulled up to her chest. She watched Damon's face, his closed eye lids and tilted her head back to do the same.

Damon reached out and pulled the covers back on the other side of the bed. "Lay down," he mumbled, never opening his eyes.

She smiled a little and shimmied under the blanket. She curled toward him, but nowhere as close as they were before, not wanting to crowd him when things were so confusing right now, for both of them. "Good night Damon."

Damon flicked off the light and toed off his boots before climbing into his clean sheets. A moment later, his hand was tangled with hers. "Goodnight Elena."


	2. Chapter 2

Damon wasn't sure what woke him up, but as soon as he saw the space next to him empty, where her warm body should have been, he was out of bed and downstairs in a blur. Her heartbeat was steady, the worry of a threat over, as he followed the sound to the kitchen. The sight really broke his heart. In the corner against the cabinets, was Elena's small frame, huddled on the floor, dried tear marks on her cheeks, seemingly sound asleep. Her small hands were curled into tight fists against her face, the agony of losing her brother taking its toll on her. He missed his own brother, more than he wanted to admit, but Stefan wasn't dead. He'd see him again. Elena would never see her brother, never hold him, never tell him how much she loves him. "Elena," he said softy as he crouched in front of her, not wanting to scare her.

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of his voice. "Damon?" she choked, blinking her eyes trying to adjust to her surroundings.

"Come on sweetheart," he said, carefully helping her to her feet. "I think you just passed out." She probably came down for a glass of water or some privacy and been too tired to come back upstairs, or too scared. He couldn't imagine what was going through her head after loosing so many people. Elena was the strongest person he knew, but death did things to people, especially humans.

"I didn't want to wake you up," she said, her head resting on his shoulder.

He hugged her tightly as he settled on the couch, his arms closed over her tiny frame. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked pressing a kiss to her temple. He wished the circumstances were different, but he wasn't going lie and say he wasn't enjoying being this close to her. She cared about him, more than he ever thought, and she had proved it last night, but that didn't change everything else that was going on.

"My whole family is dead," she whispered. "They're all gone Damon." And her arms tightened around him as she burst into tears. "You're all I have left. And… you can't leave me. Please." He didn't really deal with crying women; he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do for her.

Damon's eyes closed and he pressed her against him. "I promise you Elena, you will always have me," he whispered. He wanted to go after his brother, he owed him that. But if Elena was left unprotected, and something happened, Stefan would definitely hate him forever. Elena couldn't stand to lose anyone else, and it was up to him to make sure that never happened, which meant staying here with her. His hands slid under her hair to gently unclasp her necklace, setting it on the coffee table. "I'm going to help you sleep." Her necklace was her safety net, one she had relied on all this time, especially against him, so he was a little surprised how easily she let him take it from her.

She hiccupped and sniffled as she lifted her head from his neck so she could move one of the couch pillows to the head rest. "I want to sleep forever," she mumbled as she loosened her arms from his neck.

He was sure he was following her signals as he stretched out on the couch and she curled up against his chest, her muscles relaxing. She trusted him this much to allow him into her mind. "Just close your eyes sweetheart," he said softly. "I'll take care of you." And he would. He would do whatever it took to ease her pain, to dry her tears.

Her arm slid around his waist as a knee snuck between his while she pillowed her head on his chest. Her breathing slowed as exhaustion over took her and he slipped into her mind, hoping to keep the nightmares away from her. How would he ever be able to walk away from her now? He knew she cared about him, and in this time of grief for her, he was all that was left. He already felt the shift in their relationship with her, he just had to hope that Stefan wouldn't hate him for it. His eyes fell closed as he flowed through Elena's mind, allowing himself some much needed rest.

When Elena swam back to consciousness, she found herself secured to the couch, strong arms around her waist, her nose buried in soft black cotton. Unable to help herself, she inhaled his scent, allowing it to wash over her. He face felt swollen, her throat a little sore. She lifted her head a little to find Damon's peaceful face next to hers. He looked so relaxed, so peaceful as her hand moved up his chest to stroke his jaw, rousing him immediately from his slumber. "Hi," she said, softly.

He smiled a little as his fingers stroked her ribs. "Hey," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," she said, honestly. She felt well rested, a little bit stiff from the couch. "Thanks for staying with me." She imagined she had been a mess last night, and it wasn't a side she liked so show to people. But Damon wasn't just anyone obviously.

Damon pulled his knees up so he could swing them around her as he sat up as well. "Elena, I'm going to do anything I can to help you through this, if you let me," he said softly. "We just… we'll have to lay some boundaries after the funeral. I'm not about to stay away from you right now."

She raised an eyebrow a little. "Boundaries… for what?" she asked.

Damon ran a hand through his slept in hair, which she found to be the sexiest thing she had ever seen. Damon was already a very attractive man, but Damon in the morning… she couldn't let her thoughts go further than that. "I just… if we're going to stay friends, I need to know that," he said softly. "So I don't cross any lines."

He wanted to be with her, and the way she had been acting, to an outsider would look like they were a couple. "It's going to take me some time for us to be more then friends," she whispered. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to explain this to him, what answer he was looking for. She just hoped she didn't scare him away.

"I know that," he said turning toward her. "Like I said Elena, we're not going to worry about this now. I'm not going anywhere, we're just going to take this one day at a time." He got to his feet and stretched. "Why don't you go take a shower and I'll… make some calls."

She flinched at that, knowing she had to bury her brother. Losing Jenna had been hard enough, but to lose Jeremy right after, she couldn't believe she could even think straight. "I don't want another big ceremony," she said as she stood up. "I just want… our circle." She didn't want any more looks of pity, or fake apologies. Nothing anyone could say at this point was going to fix what was happening in her life.

"Okay sweetheart," he said, wrapping his arms around her. The last few months, he barely touched her, and in the last 24 hours, he had barely kept his hands to himself, not that she was complaining. She was just amazed at how much things had changed between them. "I'll handle it, I promise. And, you should put your necklace back on."

She glanced at it where it lay on the table. "I don't want it anymore," she said softly as she sniffled. She had to move on from that part of her life. She had to be strong. Things with her and Stefan would never be the same, no matter when he came home. She pulled back from Damon's embrace and rubbed her face as she made her way upstairs.

Damon folded his arms as he waited outside Elena's bedroom door. The funeral had been quick, not wanting to subject her to anymore pain, and when she had asked to come to her regular home, he hadn't questioned her. Until it sounded like she was breaking everything she owned. He heard the mirror shatter and was ready to break the door down if he smelled blood. He wanted nothing more then to hold her right now and ease her pain, but it wasn't good for her to keep it bottled up either. Bonnie and Caroline had come home with them, and he had asked them to keep an eye on her while he ran home to feed, but the desperate call from Caroline had him returning in record time. So here he was, waiting for the meltdown to be over patiently. "Elena," he said, resting a hand on the door.

"Go away," she said from the other side of the door followed by some sniffles.

Her stubbornness was so obvious he nearly rolled his eyes. "I can break the doorknob you know," he said, letting her know he could easily come in if he really wanted to. She shouldn't have to do this alone. He thought she understood that.

"Just please leave me alone," she whispered, but he heard it. She sounded like such a broken women, giving up on life.

He leaned his head against the wall, thinking of how much he loved her, how much it meant to him that she had opened herself up to him. She had slept in his bed every night, the nightmares too much for her to handle, and he hadn't minded. They took comfort in having the other near, but what they meant to each other never came up. "I'm going to go downstairs for 10 minutes sweetheart," he said carefully. "Then I'm coming in. I'm not leaving you alone." There was no answer but her heart beat was nice and steady and he headed downstairs.

He paused at the bottom of the staircase, feeling a strange sensation along his spine. He searched the lower floor but found nothing, but the strange, but familiar feeling didn't go away. He found the bottle of vodka more easily then he thought, pouring himself a glass. He drowned the contents quickly and almost immediately his vision blurred as he slumped to the floor in exhaustion. The room started spinning and he thought he saw a figure flash through the hall.

"Damon!" came Elena's terrified voice from upstairs. That was enough to force him to his feet and stumble toward the stair case, struggling to focus his vision. She screamed his name again, and he could hear the terror in her voice as he made his way up the stairs. He really had to start paying more attention, there was danger everywhere now for her.

"Elena!" he called, then the smell of blood hit nose, causing his demon to cry out in anger as he ran up the rest of the stairs, his instincts taking over. There was a loud noise as the glass splintered and he found her huddled in her room next to a broken window.

"Damon," she whimpered in relief, pushing herself up to help him, sliding her arm around his waist. "It was Stefan. What happened?"

"Something in the liquor downstairs," Damon said, hugging her tightly. He moved her hair off her neck wincing at the bite. His nostrils flared at the smell, as he examined the wound. The edges of her skin were torn, a nice chunk missing. Stefan had always been a sloppy eater, but he didn't usually leave his victims alive either. "We got to take care of that. Its deep."

Elena nuzzled him, as the tremors slowed. "What did Klaus do to him?" she whispered.

"He's back on human blood, worse then ever," Damon said sadly as he led her to the bathroom, stumbling slightly. The smell of her blood was causing all kinds of reactions in him, mostly ones that if acted on would result in them naked.

"You need blood," she said with a blush. "You could just… seal the bite if you want."

He stared at her like a moron for a moment. "Elena," he said softly. "You really don't know how precious your blood is to us." And she wasn't food to him. He had been off the fresh stuff for quite some time now, knowing Elena frowned on his past feeding habits. The things he did to try to make her happy. Who else could say they turned their life upside down and changed everything to make someone happy? Someone who wasn't even theirs?

"So you'd drain me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He had way more self control than that. He took pride in perfecting his blood cravings, but the other cravings that Elena was totally oblivious to, those he was out of practice with. Mostly because Elena was always changing things. She kept him on his toes, always unpredictable, like now. "What?" he asked in disbelief. "No, of course not. It's just… special. And you said you wanted time and… you're giving me a lot of mixed signals." He couldn't have her blood, then be kept at arms length. He wouldn't be able to. It wasn't something friends could just do and forget about.

"How am I doing that?" she asked. "I thought I was being clear. You wanted to wait to make sure I was over Stefan."

And now the dreaded conversation was brought to the surface. "You can't just get over Stefan," he said folding his arms. "You were with him for almost 2 years Elena. That just doesn't go away."

"You're feelings for Katherine just 'went away'," she said. "It's just different is all."

"I'm not going to fight with you about this," he said heading into the bathroom to get something for her neck. Katherine hadn't given a rat's ass about him, making it a lot easier to just forget about her. Not to mention seeing Elena everyday, and having her as a friend.

"No you're just going to run away from me like you always do," she said following him with angry strides.

Damon twirled around with blazing eyes, almost causing her to bump into him. "Excuse me?" he flared. "You're the one that has been running for the past year Elena. Not me."

"But I'm not anymore," she said softly.

"So now what?" he asked. "We're just going to pretend like nothing happened?" He had never met anyone that could drive him as insane as she did.

"I didn't say that," she said, grabbing his hand. "But we're never going get anywhere if we keep fighting."

He could work with that. If he wanted to be with her, he had to not be so hard headed as well. He considered the fight over at this point, and proceeded to help her with her injury. Damon relaxed at her touch and turned on the faucet to run a washcloth under the water, before gently dabbing the blood away from her wound. "I don't know what we're going to do sweetheart," he said opening the cabinet to find band-aids. "I can't keep you safe anywhere in town. He's got in invite to everyone's house. And he knew that I was going to be here and put something in the liquor downstairs, since we both know I would have had a drink at some point."

Elena kept her head tilted as Damon blew over the wound to dry it before gently applying two band-aids to it. "We could take a break I guess. Like a trip," she said softly. "I could use some time away from Mystic Falls."

"Elena," he said softly. "I know you're going through a lot, and I'd do anything for you. But no matter where we go, you're still going to be hurting. No matter where I take you, no matter what I do to make you forget, its going to take time."

Tears sparkled in her eyes as she nodded. "I know," she whispered. "But at least if we went somewhere, I'd be safer."

And he definitely couldn't argue with that. "Okay," he said. "Vacation it is."


	3. Chapter 3

Two months later….

Elena stared at the blank page of her diary unsure of what to write. It had been a long two months after losing her brother, and her boyfriend, but she couldn't find the words to put down. Both her and Damon wanted to go after Stefan at first but their run in with Stefan, she really needed a break. She wasn't sure what was going to happen with her and Damon, but he was behaving himself, being a very good friend to her. He slept in a different bedroom, there was no kissing or hand holding or any seduction yet. There had been many nights she had nightmares and had crawled into bed with him, but she had always woken up alone and they had never talked about it. She wasn't sure how she was feeling. Everything was confusing her. She liked Damon, he had nearly died, really opening her eyes to how much she did care about him, but what did that mean?

She knew Damon loved her, even before he told her. She just knew. And love was what drove Damon everyday. She had seen how Katherine's rejection had rocked his world and she didn't want to be the cause of that happening again. She didn't plan on falling for him, but it just happened. He was always around, always there for her no matter what, she knew she could count on him. Truthfully, she was tired of being lonely. He was here with her, and it was like they were a million miles away.

She didn't want to turn her back on Stefan, but how could she ignore what she was feeling for Damon? She longed for him to touch her, and hold her, kiss her like she needed, but both of them were too afraid to cross that line. They were so close, things were so good between them and she didn't want to ruin it, but she didn't want to sit on the fence anymore either. She glanced up as he came own the stairs in his black swim trunks. She nearly drooled at his muscular chest and arms. "Midnight swim?" she asked raising an eyebrow as she closed her diary.

"Care to join me?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow. "Water's a lot better this time."

"Sure," she said climbing to her feet. She was already in her swimsuit, that she had bought specifically with Damon in mind, but it wasn't doing its job yet. They hadn't done much swimming yet, just her mostly tanning by the pool and him doing his own thing, like he thought she needed space or something. But she was done with that. She headed out onto the patio with him that was illuminated in a soft glow, the water glistening. "Who knew Damon Salvatore did this kind of thing," she teased.

"I still have many secrets Elena," he said with a chuckle as he slipped into the pool.

She smiled and shimmied out of her shorts before pulling her tank top over head, revealing the blood red bikini that was barely considered clothing. It was a little more sexy then she usually went for a bathing suit, but she was feeling risky. She caught him staring at her out of the corner of her eye as she dove into the pool. She pushed herself to the surface, smoothing her hair back. "You definitely weren't kidding about the water," she said in appreciation.

"I never lie to you," he said raising an eyebrow. "Not even about little things."

Her heart clenched a little at that statement. "I know," she said softly. If there was anyone she could count on to tell her the truth, it was Damon. He might not always tell her in the best way, but he did always tell her the truth. "So… what's going to happen when we go home?" she asked carefully.

"Which part?" he asked as she sat on the top step of the ladder.

"How is anything going to go back to normal, like friends and school?" she asked, leaning her head against the cool metal. "Not sure I can deal with a third round of fake smiles and apologies."

Damon made his way across the pool and rested his hands on either side of her. "Well you know you have me, and you're a strong woman Elena. I know you can do this," he said shrugging. "It just takes time. And you'll do it one day at a time until eventually it doesn't hurt anymore."

Her toes reached out to tuck behind his legs as she pulled him closer to her. "These few weeks have been amazing," she said softly. "And I know I'm going to have to start a new life when I go home… and I want you to be a part of that with me. As more then a friend." Obviously he wasn't going to make the first move on her, not after all the times she had pushed him away in the past, so she was going to have to meet him half way. She was going to have to put her heart on the line as well.

The light that swelled in his eyes made her heart flutter. How could anyone say that he was coldhearted? If you really watched him, you could see everything he was feeling right in his eyes. "And what does that mean?" he asked.

"That I'm going to kiss you now," she said, dipping her head towards his, her arms wrapping around his shoulders. Her fingers gently gripped the hair at the base of his skull as his tongue slid against hers. Her body hummed at his touch, responding to him instantly like she knew she would.

All too soon it was Damon that pulled away a little. "Elena," he said softly. "You know I want to be with you, more than anything in this world. I think we should just wait a little while."

"Aren't you tired of waiting?" she asked in confusion. "How much longer are we going to dance around this?" Now she felt silly. Isn't this what he wanted, for her to admit that they had something beyond friendship? She thought enough time had passed that he wouldn't keep second guessing her. She wanted him to trust her.

Damon swam away from her with sigh. "I don't want us to rush into anything," he said. "Not when things are so good."

"But they can be better," she said. "We deserve to be happy." For once in her life she wanted to not worry about her life being in danger, or what people thought. She just wanted to do what she wanted to do.

"I know that," he said. "I just thing we should wait just a little bit longer."

Elena climbed out of the pool as a lump formed in her throat. "You're such a jackass," she muttered heading back to the house, rapidly blinking her eyes to prevent tears from spilling over.

"How is that?" he asked, resting his arms on the side of the pool as he raised an eyebrow.

She paused with her hand on the doorknob as she turned to face him. "Because I'm trying to tell you how much I love you and you're being an ass about it," she said softly before heading inside. Carefully she made her way upstairs as to not slip to the room she was using. She dropped her wet bathing suit to the carpet with two quick tugs of the strings before grabbing her pj's and locking herself in the bathroom. She could almost count the seconds before Damon would be after her. Or maybe he wouldn't. Maybe it didn't matter that she was falling for him. That thought made her stomach churn but not a minute later there was a knock on the door.

"Elena you know that's not fair," he said from behind the wood. "You can't just say that and take off."

She dried off with the white fluffy towel and slid into her warm pj's. "Well you obviously don't care," she said combing her hair, anything to keep from bursting into tears. "We can just pretend that nothing is going on, that there isn't anything between us because that would be a whole lot easier."

"Please open the door?" he asked. "We shouldn't talk about this through a door."

She almost snorted. "I was practically naked in the pool and you didn't want to talk about it then," she mumbled as she pulled her hair back into a wet ponytail. She wiped her face and pulled the door open before folding her arms. It wasn't in her nature to act like a twelve year old and she wasn't about to let him keep her trapped in the bathroom.

Damon backed up a little to allow her to exit, his eyes never leaving her face. "You know I care about you," he said softly. "And you can't blame me for not… just falling into your arms. I don't want to rush anything that might be going on and have you regret it later."

"I know," she said relaxing her stance as she grabbed his hands softly. "And I would never, ever bring this up to you if I wasn't sure this was what I wanted. I would never hurt you like that Damon." What she had with Damon was special, and scary and she had been running from it for a long time. She had pushed him away more than once, had flaunted Stefan in front of his face and still he had fallen in love with her and after what happened with Jeremy, she had cut him out of her life. But yet here they were.

He squeezed her hands gently as he exhaled loudly through his nose. "Okay," he said, pulling her closer to him as his lips lowered to hers.

Her arms slid around his neck as her mouth opened under his. "I do love you," she whispered, when she pulled back to breathe. And the world didn't come crashing down around her ears. She just felt, warm and happy. She didn't have to worry about crossing any lines anymore. They could just be. Her head tilted to the side as Damon's lips roamed over the smooth column of her neck as a happy sigh escaped her lips. "Damon… you're all wet," she managed to get out. Her brain was fast becoming mush under his hands and lips.

He kissed her softly. "I'll go change," he said, his thumb stroking her cheek.

"Okay," she said unable to keep the dumb smile off of her face as he left. Her stomach did a flip as she collapsed on her bed. What happened now? She knew how Damon was with other women, but was she quite ready to go that far with him?

"You're thinking too hard," he commented softly as he slid next to her in dry pants. He tugged her close him, his nose nuzzling her hair and she noticed the smile on his face as well.

"Am I?" she teased kissing under his jaw. She snuggled up against him, his skin warming against hers. "How can you tell?" It had been so long since she had really been held, since she had wanted to be this close to someone, but it felt amazing.

"Your brow creases when you're deep in thought," he said, stroking her arm. "Not having regrets are you?"

She lifted her head sharply. "Never," she said, pushing him onto his back before kissing him hungrily. "But I could use a distraction."

"Is that right?" he asked, as one of his hands snaked under her shirt. "I think I can definitely help you with that."


	4. Chapter 4

15 years later

"How do I get stuck with this job?" Elena grumbled as she stirred a pot on the stove. "I'm not the cook in the relationship." It smelled amazing, like what it was normally supposed to smell like, but she had killed dinner before. There were hand written directions on the counter and she had watched him do this a million times, but she still pouted at the bright red color of the spaghetti sauce. "He is so late," Elena grumbled "I mean… I know council meetings can keep him late, but this is ridiculous."

"But… things are okay?" the blonde asked carefully.

"Yes," Elena said looking at her friend sharply. Caroline looked exactly the same, her long blonde hair up in a pony tail as she sat at the counter in Elena's kitchen. They were closer than they had ever been before, and saw each other on a regular basis. "Things are perfect."

"There he is," Caroline said as there was a knock on the door and she jumped up to answer it, bouncing her way there, like she was still a teenage girl.

"He doesn't have to knock in his own house," Elena called, turning down the heat on the sauce a little. At least she wouldn't burn it this time. She used the white dish cloth to wipe her hands and her heart froze when she heard who was at the door. Slowly, as if in a daze she walked out of the kitchen, her eyes taking in his muscular frame in her doorway. "Stefan?" she whispered in surprise.

"Hi Elena," he said shyly. "You look… exactly the same."

She stared at him for a long moment, but she couldn't lie about it. "I've been a vampire for ten years," she said softly, folding her arms. "But… you're back." It had been so long, she had forgotten that he didn't know.

"Had to get back under control," he said. "How did you turn?"

Elena bit her lip. "Let's talk," she said, gesturing to her living room. Caroline stuck close to her as the two girls watched him carefully. "The night you left, Jeremy was shot and killed. The sheriff was aiming for Damon but you know… Damon was sick and hallucinating so Jeremy got caught in the crossfire."

"I'm so sorry Elena," he said, sympathy covering his features. "So soon after Jenna."

The door opened again, and Elena immediately felt Damon's presence wash over her. "Stefan," Damon said in surprise. "You're… here."

Stefan rose to his feet when Damon entered the room and Elena glanced back and forth between them worriedly. "Damon," he greeted. "Guess that answers my next question."

"You weren't here Stefan," Damon said defensively.

"Hey hey," Elena said, reaching out to touch his arm. "It's okay. No reason for anyone to get upset." She faced Stefan after feeling Damon relax slightly under her touch. "Yes Damon turned me. I asked him too. My family was dead Stefan. You were gone and he and Caroline were all I had left." And she could see his eyes as the landed on her hand, her left hand that adorned the diamond ring Damon had given her when he proposed to her a little over a month ago.

Flashback:

"_Damon, where are you taking me?" she giggled as his hands covered her eyes. "I can't see where I'm walking." She kept her hands locked on his forearms trying to follow his steering. "I still think you're laughing at me while I'm stumbling around like an idiot."_

"_You should trust me Elena," he tsk'ed. "I would never let you fall. We're almost there anyway."_

_He would never let a paper cut happen to her. She trusted him with her life, that wasn't even part of the picture. She kept her eyes closed for a second after he removed his hands but when she opened them, her brows creased as she glanced around. "Where are we?" she asked, as he led her over to the blanket on the grass._

"_Best place to watch the meteor shower," he said. "Most open spot in Mystic Falls."_

_She smiled and snuggled against him as she glanced at the stars, sighing happily as his arms came around her, but he had something in his hands. "What's that?" she asked, trying to peel his fingers off of it._

_Damon rested a chin on her shoulder as he opened the velvet box. "Marry me," he murmured._

_Her heart would have lurched in her chest as he diamond sparkled in the moon light. "Damon," she whispered, her fingers gently touching the box. "Its beautiful."_

"_Is that a yes?" he asked smiling against her skin._

"_Yes," she said, her body nearly trembling with joy. Her cheeks were hurting from smiling as he slid the ring on her finger and it sparkled in the moonlight. "I love you."_

End Flashback

She had been so happy when he proposed. They had been together for so long, and it felt right. "You were gone for a long time Stefan," she said softly. "And we wanted to find you…"

"It's fine Elena," Stefan said, shaking his head. "I knew that you and I were over when I left. I knew the price for saving Damon's life. I didn't come here to fight with either of you. I really came to see Damon."

Elena squeezed Damon's hand as she looked up at him, a strange expression on his face. "It's fine," she said softly. "You guys should talk." They should talk without her hovering, even though she could hear them from the kitchen. But it wasn't her business. Damon was unnaturally quiet, seemingly unsure of what to make of his brother being back. Even though they had each other, they both felt a horrible sense of loss, not being able to go after Stefan, and it had taken a long time for them to both get past it. She offered Damon a small smile as he headed to the porch with his brother and she released a sigh as Caroline rubbed her back. "I'm guessing burning dinner won't be the highlight of the night."

"But this is good," Caroline said smiling. "You both wanted him home and now he is. And he seems to be in good spirits about everything. It's been a long time to keep grudges going."

"Yeah," Elena agreed as she peeked out the living room window through the curtains. "Well they are hugging… I guess that's good." She knew how badly Damon missed his brother and she gave them some privacy as she went back to the kitchen. She turned the stove off and sat at the counter, running her hands through her hair as Caroline chatted with her about meaningless things to distract her.

Damon came back in about 15 minutes later, alone, but he seemed okay. "Stefan's going back to the boarding house for some rest," he said kissing her forehead. "I'm going to change then try to salvage dinner."

"Funny," she murmured smiling as he headed upstairs. She said goodnight to Caroline and set the table for them. She glanced up as she heard him come downstairs and he immediately pulled her into his arms. "You okay?" she asked nuzzling his neck.

"Surprisingly, yes I am," he said, kissing her temple. "Everything is going to be fine, because now, you can set a date."

A smile beamed on her face as she pulled his lips down to hers. "Well Mr. Salvatore, you prepared to spend the rest of our lives together?" she asked, tangling her hands in the soft hair at the base of his skull.

Damon chuckled. "You have no idea."


End file.
